One word: Ego.
There is so much innocence in childhood. You are full of dreams and radical notions about the world. Unfortunately, ego comes along and steals a part of that innocence. Now most of the time we think of ego as someone being big-headed or feeling entitled, but it can go the other way too. Either way, ego becomes a key player in how we relate to the world.
Ego: a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
This week in HP we are finally finishing Book 2!! Yay!! Harry has made it into the chamber of secrets to find an unconscious Ginny on the floor. Long story short, Tom Riddle (aka Voldemort) preserved himself in a diary, enchanted Ginny and is stealing her life to become real again. Harry gets mad, a basilisk fight ensues. Fawkes (Dumbledore’s Phoenix ) flies in, brings the sorting hat (which holds the sword of Gryffindor) and Harry defeats the giant snake! (YAY!) Harry saves Ginny, finds Ron and Lockhart and makes it back to Hogwarts. Harry and Ron tell the story of that nights events to Dumbledore, McGongall and the Weasley parents. Dumbledore awards Gryffindor points, everyone is happy and then Mr. Malfoy (daddy Malfoy) arrives to talk with Dobby behind. Harry, outraged by seeing how Dobby is treated by his master, he tricks Mr. Malfoy into giving Dobby a sock and setting him free! THE END!
Here we see ego all over the place. Tom Riddle had one of the biggest egos, preserving himself in a journal (which we later find out is a horocrux so he therefore killed someone to preserve himself). Dobby, as a house-elf has a timid ego. He is considered lesser than all others, so therefore acts as such. Mr. Malfoy, being the pompous man he is, is another example of a huge ego.
Our egos are shaped by the world around us, the messages west about ourselves and internalize. And in law school you encounter every type of ego imaginable. The key is learning to work with every type of ego while growing yours or minimizing it at the same time.
For those who find themselves in Dobby’s shoes, it’s a matter of working to grow your ego, to find your self-esteem and self- importance. This includes standing up for yourself, doing what you want or carving your own path.
For those who find themselves in Mr. Malfoy or Tom Riddle’s shoes, it’s a matter of readjusting your views of the world. Seeing how your actions fall upon others and affect them.
Ego can be useful, but too much or too little can be harmful, especially in law school. So take a moment and reflect on where you fall. And comeback soon for the beginning of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Until Next Time,
Mischief Managed
In these two chapters, Harry and Ron follow the spiders into the Forbidden Forest. There they meet a GIANT spider named Aragon. Aragon tells the story of how Hagrid brought him to the school and cared for him until Tom Riddle turned Hagrid in (the last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened) and Aragon went to live in the Forbidden Forest. After Ron and Harry learn that Hagrid is innocent, they attempt to leave the spiders’ nest only to attacked by all of Aragon’s sons and Daughters. They only manage to escape because the Weasley family car, now wild, emerges from dark and races Harry and Ron out of the forest.
Things turn for the worse though and the school is in a panic going into finals, and it’s not because finals, but because a student has been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. Harry and Ron spy to overhear that Ginny is the student now in the Chamber, and that Lockhart has been chosen (mainly through his bragging) to go and rescue her. They run up to Lockhart’s office to warn him about what he faces in the Chamber, only to find Lockhart packing his bags to flee. Lockhart discloses that he is a fraud. Harry and Ron force him to go into the Chamber of Secrets only to find themselves soon separated, Harry continuing alone and Ron staying with a memory hoped Lockhart.
It definitely feels a little overwhelming. Finals looming over us, and everything still left to do feels a little like jumping down the secret passage to the Chamber of Secrets. But amongst all of this there are so many trusty sidekicks alongside us as we go through this journey. I started this semester by starting therapy at the Health and Counseling center on campus. It’s always a vulnerable moment to admit you have some issues you want to talk out, or that you need some help. I’ve posted on here before that I have General Anxiety Disorder. It’s not an easy disorder to detect since its all internal but it does manifest itself in different ways. For me, I plan because then I have a semblance of control over the situation. I also rehearse every conversation or answer numerous times before raising my hand or approaching someone. There are so many calculated moves because of my anxiety. Asking for help isn’t an easy thing to do either because of the implications behind it.
To me the most interesting part of this chapter is the small paragraph about Fawkes the Phoenix. Phoenixes are mythical creatures that show resilience. They are constantly shedding their bodies and emerging from their ashes to be new creatures (on days referred to as Burning Days). Yet their abilities to heal, carry heavy loads and remain loyal all stay intact. Coming to law school felt like a Burning Day of sorts. It was a time of rebirth. I left almost everything behind in Nevada to move to Colorado. Left my career to go back to school and felt like I was becoming a new person. The only thing is, I didn’t really leave everything behind.
The moral of the story: find out who you are and let yourself change organically. Don’t force yourself to change, don’t force yourself to be something you aren’t meant to be. Allow yourself to change when the time is right. Watch the slow progress happen and enjoy the ride. Law school will try to force you to change your being quickly, but hold onto what you believe in your soul… you’ll thank yourself for it later.
Being different in a high stakes game is difficult. Trying to express your opinions becomes difficult. Trying to explain how you want to do something non-traditional in a society composed of nothing but traditions becomes intimidating. Being different is frowned upon at times in law school. (And I too have taken part in this looking down upon people for their never-ending curiosity… it’s hard not to look at people who are very different from you and judge them slightly). The thing is, law school and the law world could use a few more creative people, a few more people willing to be non-traditional, and a few more people to challenge the status quo. The problem is that we don’t allow for creativity to always flourish in our studying because we see others putting in a certain type of effort and we feel the need to keep up.
I’m personally a hybrid, stuck between two worlds the logic and the creative. I love to be creative, to create new things, new structures, new worlds and stories… yet on the other hand I love to work inside structures and deadlines. I grew up thinking I was not good at math or science, yet I loved the ideas of science (astronomy, chemistry,geology) … now being in law school I am starting to learn that I just might have been more inclined to the logic side of the world than the creative side…and that’s the beauty of the world, both logic and creativity can co-exist in one place, person, or subject matter. The key is to bring them together, and for those of us who are “different” from the model law school student, need to reconcile these worlds with one another. Let’s make law school creative again.
Lockhart instead turns Harry’s arm into jelly, making all of the bones disappear. Harry goes to the infirmary where he spends the night. Dobby appears explaining why Harry should leave Hogwarts and admitting to bewitching the bludger and sealing the platform to the school train. As Dobby disappears, another student is brought into the infirmary, petrified.
Recap: Harry is woken up by Oliver Wood to go to a sunrise Qudditch practice where Harry is followed by Colin, this pesky kid who just wants to take Harry’s picture and have him sign it still. The Gryffindor Quidditch team works to keep their eyes open through Wood’s incessant talk to drills and plays. As soon as the team embarks on an actual practice the Slytherin’s show up with a letter from Snape saying they can practice eon the fields to train their new Seeker, Draco Malfoy (whose father incidentally bought the whole team brand new brooms). An argument ensues between Hermione, Ron, Harry, Draco and the two teams, and Hermione is called a mudblood. Ron tries to curse Draco where he will throw up slugs, but Ron’s broken wand malfunctions and instead curses Ron. The trio scurries off to Hagrid’s hut where Harry asks what a mudblood is exactly. He learns that it is a a derogative name given to a muggle born witch or wizard by horrible pure blood families.
You see, even at Hogwarts status is a huge indicator of where you stand. While this doesn’t have to necessarily deal with their grades and is more like the pedigree their families hold (which can sometimes be a status indicator in law school too), it is a way of separating people by class. Our grades coming this week threaten to do the same to all of us, because there are already cracks there based on perceptions of people’s intelligence. Which sucks because we are all smart. We all got into law school, and as someone pointed out to me this past week 
So while we await grades tomorrow, and then spend the next few weeks walking around in a stupor, judging each other, letting our heads either become big or our hearts break, remember all the good you still have. Don’t let these grades confuse happiness and success… Success is finding happiness and finding happiness is success. Hermione had her great friends, Ron and Harry, beside her to pick her up when called nasty names and judged for her blood status… who are you going to let pick you up when you are down, and better yet, where is your happiness rooted?
The Wizarding World of Law School 