Law school, and well life in general, is full of false summits for most people. (I say most people because there are those whose law school experience has been perfect since the beginning, and that’s great!)

What’s a false summit you might ask? “In mountaineering, a false peak or false summit is a peak that appears to be the pinnacle of the mountain but upon reaching, it turns out the summit is higher. False peaks can have significant effects on climbers’ psychological states by inducing feelings of dashed hopes or even failure.” (Thank you Wikipedia!)

False summits are the absolute worse, even if you know they are coming. One of the first major hikes I did in Colorado was the Incline in Mantou Springs. Kalle and I knew about the false summit. I tried to mentally prepare my brain for it, reminding myself constantly that what i could see that looked like the top wasn’t actually the top. But every time I looked up my brain so badly wanted it to be the end so it could say “look what I accomplished!” Instead every time it had to come back to reality and realize we still had a whole other leg of the journey that we couldn’t see yet. And that’s hard for a brain in which its biggest fear is never accomplishing anything…perfectly.

Let’s tie this into Harry Potter, shall we?

Chapter 9- The Woes of Mrs. Weasley

We pick up where the last post left off. Dumbledore doesn’t talk to Harry before leaving the courtroom.  Mr. Weasley takes Harry back to Grimmauld Place. On their way out they see Fudge meeting with Lucius Malfoy. Back at Grimmauld Place, everybody celebrates Harry’s acquittal. Everyone gets their Hogwarts letters and Ron and Hermione are named prefects.  Harry is jealous that Ron was chosen over him as prefect, given all he has done at Hogwarts over the years. (Damn, that friendship jealousy.)

After the party, Mrs Weasley goes upstairs to get rid of the Boggart Mad-Eyed Moody identified for her earlier. Moody shows Harry an old photograph of the original Order of the Phoenix. After going upstairs, Harry finds that the sight of Mrs. Weasley’s worst fears (all her family members and Harry dead) was too much for her; she started ugly crying before Lupin gets rid of the Boggart after arriving upstairs with Sirius and Moody. As they help calm her down, Mrs Weasley wonders about the future of her loved ones.

Chapter 10- Luna Lovegood

On the day of departure to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, the group is rushing to get ready as the children will be taken there under guard per Moody’s recommendation. Sirius accompanies them in his Animagus form. After the Hogwarts Express departs, with Ron and Hermione having to go to the prefects’ carriage, Harry shares a compartment with Ginny, Neville Longbottom, and  Luna Lovegood. Later Ron and Hermione show up and tell them who the new prefects are for the other houses, including Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson for Slytherin. Luna is reading a tabloid magazine called The Quibbler, of which, she tells them, her father is the editor.

Draco and Co. show up to make fun of the fact that Ron was chosen over Harry for the position of prefect and his comment “dogging around” causes Harry to worry that Draco might know now that Sirius is an Animagus. After arriving at Hogsmeade station Harry notices that instead of Hagrid, Professor Grubbly-Plank, who previously substituted for Hagrid during their last school year, is there to direct the first years to their boats. When boarding their carriage Harry notices that the carriages are being pulled by some sort of winged horses. He points them out to Ron and Hermione, but they can’t see them, and act worried when he insists that they are right there. Luna says that she can see them, and in fact could see them ever since she first came to Hogwarts. Harry is mystified, since he couldn’t see them when he first came, but he can see them now.

Luna Lovegood is one of those characters I relate to the most but find it hard to admit to. I mean in a perfect world I would be Hermione. I’d have great friends, people would admire how brainy I was, and I would have the willpower to fight for great causes. Okay, honestly I would just wanna be as smart as Hermione. But alas, I am more of a Luna, a little odd, dresses funny, people don’t necessarily want to be around all the time, etc. Luckily though no one has stolen my shoes…as of yet. Luna however is completely okay with who she is, as where I wish I was anyone but myself at least once a day. Her world is perfect. She creates her own brand of magic with what she believes in.

Who is completely opposite from this? Harry. In these chapters I can relate to Harry quite a bit. He is completely put off by his friends’ success. When Ron is chosen to be a prefect, Harry feels jealousy… the why not me complex kicking in. Most of us have been there at some point or another. If you are anything like me, when you get those fits of jealousy, you try to stop and ask yourself why you are so jealous. Before therapy my answer would be, “I just can’t help it.” Now, it’s more like “Because I have an irrational fear that I will not accomplish anything in life and that in my perfectionist world that honor (award, job, etc.) would mean that I matter, that I accomplished something.”

My idea of reaching great accomplishments, receiving awards, titles, and accolades is a false summit in life. When I finally got my first A- in law school, I thought to myself, it’s all finally clicked, I’m going to just keep doing what I just did and BAM I’ll keep doing well…false summit. When I got my first summer internship, I thought to myself, this will be great and my future will now just fall into place…false summit.

Here’s the hard lesson I’ve learned from this nasty cycle: life shouldn’t be just a series of accomplishments followed by the hard realization that there is still a long ways to go. We should be treating life the way Luna does… we should be creating our own world full of gnarkles and other magical creatures that may or may not exist. We should be looking for the good in everything and not just looking at the things we can receive. Wear that lion headress to the qudditch match and be proud! Say what you want. Be weird or don’t be weird, whatever works for you! Just be you and be unapologetic. Don’t wait for accolades to say who you are… create your own system of accomplishments. Enjoy what you have, don’t compare what you have to others and let that crush your spirit. All that does is create a series of false summits on your way to finding true happiness.

And sure, a lot of people reading this probably already know this to be true. To those people I say this: look to be a light in the world. Show others who struggle kindness and compassion. Listen to those people and affirm who they are. Sometimes people just want to know that they aren’t invisible, that they exist in the same world you do. You don’t have to be their best friend, but have just enough compassion to show them that they do in fact exist in your world too.

But for those of you out there who struggle through life, like I do, whether it be because of emotional disorders, anxiety and depression, or just overall self-doubt, know that your life doesn’t have to be a series of false summits, that you can be free from that mind trap, you can see the world that way it should be and not just the way it is. You can create your own magic and get out of the constant fear loop of never being enough and never overcoming your other fears.  We can do this. We don’t have to be jealous of others. We can take solace in who we are. We don’t have to be Harry Potters… we can be Luna Lovegood and love ourselves no matter what.

Until Next Time,

Mischief Managed

Hey there, long time no post. Sorry that it’s been a while, I’ve been busy moving and working and taking classes. The Clinic I was in last year kicked my ass. But anyways I wanted to give this another shot. While there is no way I will finish books 5-7 by the end of May, I can at least give a little more insight into my world through HP.

So here we go again.

Chapter 8

So, Harry makes it to the Hearing in front of the Wizengamot. The room is set-up with one chair for Harry in the middle and about fifty people seated at the bench above him. Harry is charged under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Statute of Secrecy. Dumbledore arrives as a witness for Harry and everyone begins to whisper. Fudge starts the trial without giving Harry a chance to defend himself. Once Harry gets the chance to explain about the Dementors, Fudge labels his statement a convenient lie, but Dumbledore is able to produce a reliable witness: Mrs Figg, whom describes what she saw (Dementors and Dudley)

When Fudge points out the unlikelihood of Dementors in Little Whinging, Dumbledore suggests that someone within the Ministry ordered them there. Which makes Fudge mad and he refuses to accept any of this as evidence and while Dumbledore reminds him that magic can be used in these extraordinary circumstances. Fudge dismisses this, given Harry’s past issues, reminding them of his illegal use of magic three years ago at his Uncle’s house though it was Dobby who did it, not to mention when Harry blew up Aunt Marge.

Fudge then brings up Harry’s rule-breaking at Hogwarts, but Dumbledore reminds Fudge that the Ministry does not have the authority to punish students for what they do at school. Dumbledore also points out how ridiculous it is for the Wizengamot to be involved in this incident. The Wizengamot then clears Harry of all charges and Dumbledore peaces out quickly.

 

One of the hardest things to deal with in my life is my constant need for perfection. Hello, My name is Kristina and I am a perfectionist. Most people know this about me. Nine times out of ten I won’t do things unless I know i can do it perfectly, and then ever if I do try if something small goes wrong I am the most critical person about whatever it is that I do. A great example of this comes from work last week. We sent out some charts that I made to various properties that we own in various states. I worked hard on these and thought I did a fairly good job (and that was after I talked myself through my anxiety about turning this charts in for a few hours). Then we had a Regional Manager tell us that I cited the wrong laws…trigger my anxiety and perfectionism. I worked really hard to not be hard on myself and to not apologize profusely to one of my supervisors, but alas I still felt the need to apologize and explain what happened, even though my supervisor said it was not even close to being a big deal.

Perfectionism is a horrible disease in our society, fueled by unreachable standards, comparison, and the invention of social media. We have created a society where mistakes and flaws are frowned upon.  Our lives have to be perfectly manicured and we have to push ourselves to always be better and be the best at all we do. But is that sustainable int he long run? I’ll tell you this much… it’s not working for me.

And that brings me to the correlation between my life, law school, and this chapter of Harry Potter.

Fudge tries to bring up all of Harry’s mistakes, his flaws throughout the year, blemishes on his record in order to villianize Harry, disgracing him for telling the truth about Voldemort. In Fudge’s eyes harry’s mistakes are fuel for campaigning against Harry and discrediting him and that’s true for most of us. I used my flaws and mistakes, as well as other people’s, in order to justify why I/they suck. We all do it to an extent. We don’t like something about ourselves and we look for it in others to justify not liking it in ourselves. We don’t like another person so we share their mistakes and flaws with others in order to get other people to be on our side. (Gosh we aren’t nice to each other… are we?)

But what’s the point in that? Why do we put ourselves and others on trial in order to make ourselves greater? Why do we work so hard to create perfect lives, afraid of making mistakes that others will see? What if we just lived our lives, mistakes and all, and actually enjoyed the risks we take in life, the joys of seeing those we don’t necessary care for live their best lives, and the unexpected paths our mistakes may bring us to? here Harry’s mistakes weren’t always his own, and his flaws were what made him need his friends. His life was far from perfect, and I’ve said numerous times that his flaws drove me nuts and made him my least favorite character in the series, but what if I changed that perspective and embraced his flaws? What if I started to embrace my flaws too?

Perfectionism creates unhappiness… we live in an imperfect world… mistakes let us grow and move forward while sometimes pushing us back until we get it right. Don’t aim for perfectionism… aim for a life well lived. At least that’s what I’m going to try to do. will you do it with me?

Until Next Time,

Mischief Managed