Chapter recap: Harry emerges into the room where the stone is hidden to find Professor Quirrell and NOT Snape as he thought. Dun Dun Dun… Voldemort is attached to Quarrel’s head.. he’s trying to get the stone from the Mirror of Erised… Alas Harry gets it, Quirrell tries to tough Harry, Quirrell’s skin starts to burn and blister… Harry passes out and wakes up int he hospital wing to Dumbledore sitting at his side. Dumbledore explains a whole bunch of things to Harry, they have the end of the year feast… Dumbledore awards Gryffindor more points and they defeat Slytherin for the house cup and everyone goes home… END OF THE FIRST BOOK!
Theme: Unveiling the Truth
So, as the last chapter blog states… I’ve learned a lot about what tests are coming for me in the future. Here’s what I’ve learned, with a little backstory to start:
Before coming to law school I worked as a Store Manager for Starbucks for about 2 years. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. I was always stressed and felt frustrated and angry. I never wanted to go to work, felt anxious and out of place all the time. Then I quit and went to law school. For a while I was bitter and felt like a huge failure since it seemed that every other manager I knew could keep their composure and liked their job. In law school my panic attacks became fewer for a while, and I started to feel relaxed and confident (somewhat) again. Yet, the fear of failure, the fear of not being able to actually keep up with everyone else still haunted me (and well still haunts me). I’ve been known as a person who skips from one project to the next, from one day dream to the next, and from one aspiration to the next. When things get tough, I tend to make an exit plan so I don’t have to face failure. I always feel less competent than my peers, and have very low self-esteem. Law school has not let me escape that just yet, instead it’s made me face a lot of the issues I’ve been running from.
What are these issues? well here’s a list of them:
- Fear of money
- Fear of being selfish or arrogant
- Fear of wanting a higher lifestyle than I grew up with
- Fear of failure
- Fear of never having a family
- Fear of doing the wrong thing
- Fear of hurting people’s feelings
- Fear of not amounting to anything
Haha, I’m not using this blog as a way to make people feel bad for me, instead it’s a way to hold myself accountable. These are all things I know I will be facing in the next few years because law school teaches you more than just the law.
“The truth.” Dumbledore sighed. “It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”
Law school has this funny way of making you think about life differently. Whether it’s talking about morals and values or discussing the repercussions and next steps after an election, law school helps you learn how you truly feel about the world. I’ve had professors who have changed how I want to approach food law a little differently. I’ve had professors who have literally made me not want to practice certain parts of law. I’ve attended lunch talks that were inspiring. I’ve joined organizations that combine my favorite things about both the law and community. I’ve learned a lot about interacting with people through my peers. I’ve learned that things are not always what they seem and people are ever-changing before your eyes. I’ve learned that I need to change my views on money and how I interact with it. But most importantly I’ve learned that I have to give myself a break and stop acting like every hang-up in the world is the biggest failure of my life.
They say the first year of law school is the hardest, and they don’t lie. What they don’t tell you though is that the first year of law school tests you in more areas of your life than just the law parts. I’m excited to see what happens next, and I’m even happier to report that I’ve returned to Starbucks part-time, no longer bitter or ashamed of my time as a store manager. Facing the truth, facing yourself and facing your fears are all part of life… and for me, it took removing myself from the world I knew, entering into the world of law to find out that things aren’t as bad as they seem… even if at times I still make a big deal out of nothing.
And don’t despair… just because this book is over doesn’t mean we don’t have more to go! This Sunday we move onto Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets!!
Until Next Time,