Have you ever watched those Real Housewives shows? I know you have, don’t try to freaking lie, we all love to watch these rich ladies get plastered and argue and fight with each other over silly things. I mean who wouldn’t love to be one of them?? Personally I live for the escape from reality into “reality tv” or really any dramatic television show. I love these scripted shows where you can tell the writers have been sitting in a small room pouring their mind power out to create a script full of “unexpected” tricky twists and turns… the joke of it all is if you watch enough tv or read enough books, these unexpected twists are pretty predictable.
I once had a a high school english teacher, Ms. Fagan, tell us that every story is the same because every story is one about the human condition. Meaning that every story we read, listen to, talk about, tell, or watch is the same story. We all suffer, we all rejoice, we all have hang-ups, we all tell lies, we all deceive one another, we are all selfish, we all love, we all endure heartbreak… every story has already been told because we are all human. But in law school that is sometimes THE HARDEST THING TO REMEMBER. Therefore, this blog’s theme is this “the unexpected mixed metaphor.” Fascinating right? Here’s the recap and I’ll explain how this theme fits after.
Chapter 22- The Unexpected Task
Well, well, well… Looks like Hogwarts is gonna have Yule Ball… which means the boys and girls need to pair off and have dates. Nothing sends panic down someone’s spine, especially teenagers, but really anyone who doesn’t have a date, like a fancy dance. Also, nothing brings out the truth of how we view one another like a dance. Everyone is pairing off in this chapter. Ron does the unthinkable and tries to get a date with Fleur by shouting at her. lol Hermione has a secret date. Harry and Ron end up with Parvati and Padma. And everyone is so mean to Neville… except Ginny.
Chapter 23- The Yule Ball
Of course hormones and nerves are running high. There’s dancing, and a wizard rock band. There are secret rendezvous in the gardens, overheard conversations about Hagrid being part giant and lots of snagging. Oh did we mention Ron’s jealousy is back when he sees Hermione with Viktor Krum? So much teenage angst. It’s a dance, there’s not much to say here.
Chapter 24- Rita Skeeter’s Scoop
Here she is to ruin the day again! Rita Skeeter’s scoop is that Hagrid is half-giant… which every is like “oh no, that’s horrible, he will kill our children in the night, kill the beast!” Wait, that’s the wrong Emma Watson movie. But nevertheless, apparently being part giant is horrible and Hagrid stops teaching for a bit and everyone learns about unicorns instead of other magical animals… and if some of these kids are from Scotland, shouldn’t they already know about their country’s animal? I don’t understand why they need a couple classes about unicorns… roll my eyes. Well, on the other hand Ludo Bagman is shady AF. Tries to break the rules and offer Harry help with his next task… isn’t this man leading this tournament? Seems weird to me… anyone else? Harry of course says no (which i guess is a good tell of his character… but realistically what teenager would say no?) And then Cedric tells Harry how to crack the screeching egg code by taking a bath.
Chapter 25- The Egg and the Eye
Harry of course is a bit pig-headed and refuses to heed Cedric’s advice. He sulks around pretending to have solved the egg clue already, lying to everyone until it’s almost too late and then he sneaks off after hours. He goes to the Prefect bathroom to take a giant bubble bath with his sidekick Moaning Myrtle the total pervert there to watch. She tells him to open the egg under water and stick his head down there. He hears the mermaid’s voice tell him hints about the next task. On his way back to bed he gets caught a trap stair and then gets caught by Moody after an almost run in with Flich and Snape. Nevertheless in true Harry fashion he is let off the hook for being out after hours and heads to bed. Lucky lucky…
A mixed metaphor is my absolute favorite english device in the world. It’s simple really, you take two metaphors and mix them together. For example: “Don’t go in there with cold turkey on your face.” The separate metaphors are: 1) Going cold turkey; and 2) Don’t go in there with egg on your face. See? Simple and cheeky. Alright, so how does this simple english device relate to law school, television, and Harry Potter? Well it’s simple really. Life is one large box of unexpected and expected mixed metaphors. Sure, sometimes life is just a single metaphor: “an endless night;” “anger bottled up inside;” “battle of the egos.” Those are expected. We all endure these… until we have “an endless bottled up battle of the egos.” Then we are like WTF is happening in my life!?!
Law school is a freaking series of these moments. Once you think you have battled the final essay, passed the last final of the semester, and can catch your breath, law school stops you and tells you to “take a flying hike.” And there you are standing in the middle of a cold dark room feeling like someone “shot the wind out of your saddle.” You just stand there feeling like you “have to get all your ducks on the same page.” And that seems impossible.
But that’s the thing. Life is not scripted like television. It’s not written like Harry Potter. There aren’t all of these expected twists and turns. There aren’t just Yule Balls and the expected reactions of teenagers needing to find dates or giants being outed. Now sometimes things do happen, and you may still be like, what the heck?!? or you may be like, oh I got this. And maybe law school is the same way for many people, but I know for me, it’s a series of mixed metaphors, a series of events that constantly leave me feeling confused and “sweating like a bullet.” But isn’t that what we signed up for? We signed up to have Rita Skeeter’s misinforming the world about who we are or leaking our worst traits to the world. We signed up to feel confused and uncertain… and since the world keeps on spinning and churning out the same stories over and over again, we know that on the other side of all these mixed metaphors and unexpected chaotic moments, we will be stronger.
So really I guess all of this is to say that while law school feels unmanageable at times, and we feel like a bag of confusing garble, television, books, and the human condition tell us that we are going to make it through. We will all end up with dates to the Yule Ball, we will figure out the egg clues, and we will make it to see another day. You got this… and congrats on making it to winter break. Now get offline and go do something unexpected, unscripted, and above all else, something fun!
Until Next Time,