This week I’m writing to everyone from a New York City apartment where I’ve been lounging around and hanging out with one of the best people in my life. There’s always something magical about NYC and always something new to explore. This is the third year I’ve visited the Big Apple and every single time I’ve come to the city it’s been a different experience…mainly because it’s been a different me each time.
This week in HP: The Weasley’s and Harry go to Diagon Alley by using Floo Powder. Harry of course has never used it and messes up ending up in Knockturn Alley. There he overhears a conversation between the Malfoy son and father before being found by Hagrid and being shuffled to Diagon Alley and Gringotts where everyone got their money and headed to purchase school books. At Flourish and Blotts the gang find themselves at a book signing by their new professor, Gilderoy Lockhart. Soon after their brief run-in with him the gang have to break up a fight between Mr. Wealsey and Lucius Malfoy before heading back to the Burrow.
Every character in this chapter faces a moment where they feel some kind of inadequacy. Percy feels the need to change his circumstances and hides away from his family reading books about rising to power. Harry hides his fortune from the Weasleys, trying to hide his money when he knows the Weasleys have very little. Ron apologizes to Harry for not remembering that Harry knows nothing about traveling by Floo powder. Draco complains about Harry and Hermione being smart and in the spotlight, clearly showing his feelings of inadequacy compared to them. Lastly, Hermione’s parents stand back, waiting to be introduced to all of Hermione’s magical friends.
You see, no matter what we carry our insecurities, our feelings of inadequacy and our shame with us wherever we go. It changes he way we interact with the people and places around us, and it changes the way we see the world. The first time I came to NYC I brought a tinge of jealousy with me. I was jealous of my friend who moved here and got out of Las Vegas. I viewed every interaction with the city as an opportunity to move here and out of my current life position. I interacted with everything as if it was a moment to impress the city, an interview of sorts. I left with a mission to get back here, to follow my friend and in turn ruined a friendship by being judgmental about her every moment of living here as well as her leaving the city to return to Vegas. The next time I came to NYC I came a bit jaded because my friendship had ended with the girl I first came to visit. I came to the city feeling low while having a good time hanging out with a huge family doing extremely touristy things. I wanted to post as many pictures as possible hoping that old NY friend of mine would see them and be jealous that I was here without her having a good time. I wandered the city wanting to be wanted, wanting the city to just take me in and love me because I felt lost and forgotten. Don’t get me wrong, the city was just as amazing like always, and the company I came with was great, but all I wanted was something more, because I felt so inadequate .
That fall, I took the LSAT and applied for Law School, destined to get out of Las Vegas… and here I sit wandering around the city laughing and exploring without a desire for more. the thing is I faced all those inadequacies I refused to acknowledged before. Law school will do that to you. All semester long we sit in classes wondering whether or not professors are going to call on us and embarrass us. We face our own insecurities when grades start to come back and we realize we may be at the bottom of the curve. We start to develop a self-care toolkit of affirmations (for when we don’t feel smart enough), emergency snacks (for those stressful study sessions), playlists (for both pumping us up and calming us down), good gossip friends (because sometimes gossip is the best medicine), exercise plans (to beat out that stress) and carved out alone time (to relax and mend the mind). We spend a lot of time stressing, trying to relax and trying to laugh.
I’ve had moments of breaking down and having to build myself back-up and through those moments I found myself finally releasing some major emotional baggage and major insecurities. Law school is definitely more than just learning the law, but it’s about taking a moment to learn more about yourself. Being in NYC this time around isn’t about dreaming of moving here, or trying to outdo my past and outshine past trips. No, it’s about being with a great friend, taking in new sights, eating at amazing places and just laughing…
And all of this wouldn’t be possible without leaving Las Vegas and learning the ins and outs of the law. Thank goodness though it’s time for winter break and a time to reflect about jumping over that first hurdle known as the dreaded first semester.
Until Next Time,
PS Guys do me a favor and check out NYC’s newest, most fabulous blogger, my dear friend Lyn and his journey to explore a new life in this new city through his blog:
It’s funny, it’s full of cussing and most of all it’s gonna have some great content and big thoughts… you won’t wanna miss out! CHECK IT OUT…